I decided to have children years before my closest friends.
I didn’t run the idea by them or discuss how it may change our dynamic as friends— I just did it.
I don’t think we think about things like that, you know? And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a drastic, one-sided change.
It’s not like we ordered a friends dinner for them before they showed up or picked the movie without asking or wore the same dress as them to a party because we forgot to coordinate appropriately.
The choice we made on their behalf was much bigger. We virtually gave them an ultimatum:
Get used to a completely new version of our friendship, or move on.
And again, it wasn’t intentional. It just is what it is.
But to all of my non-mom friends who still show up, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for never assuming I hate you because I didn’t text you back for the bazillionth time (because I accidentally texted you back in my mind instead of in real life….again).
Thank you for trading in long drives to the beach and happy hours, for lunch dates where you spend approximately 30-45 minutes trying to have a conversation with me without full eye contact— I know I’m cleaning mac and cheese off of the floor, begging my toddler to sit down over and over again, and trying to shovel food in my mouth before the kids decide they are ready to tantrum their way out of there— but I promise I’m listening to every single word you say.
Thank you for sitting in my car with my kids so that I can run into the bank to deposit that money I’ve had sitting in my wallet for weeks because the damn ATM won’t accept the bills.
Thank you for waiting in my living for over an hour while I put the kids to bed, even though you know we will only get about an hour to catch up before I need to go to bed myself— since 5:00 am wake up calls are a regular occurrence in my house.
Thank you for loving my kids. For hugging them and reading to them and playing with them. For treating them like members of your own family and acting genuinely excited to see them every single time.
Thank you for reminding me of who I am outside of my children. For always asking me how my passions and dreams are going, and for helping me stay up to date with things other than the latest Disney Channel original series.
Thank you for showing up. Time and time again.
Even when you witness my child shit all over the high chair and my hands in a restaurant. (Seriously, I can’t believe you still go out to eat with me after that. You’re the best.)
Even when it takes me three days to respond to you. Even when I have to cancel for the umpteenth time because the kids got sick, or hit their heads, or have a doctors appointment that I totally blanked on.
You keep calling. Keep texting. Keep checking in on me and reminding me that even though I made this choice for our friendship without asking, you still love me.